I've been trying to be productive and focus on other things, but this 2ww is killing me. It hasn't been this bad in months! I honestly don't think I am pregnant. I've been having no symptoms (and yes, I know symptoms don't start for a while with some women) and my endo pain is as bad if not worse than it ever is. I guess that is a good thing in a round about way. At least I know that we gave it our all so if I'm not I can focus on getting the pain under control.
The Boy and I have been having some open and frank discussions lately, and it is helping us narrow down our possible options, as well as reminding me why I keep him around. It's hard in a community of mostly women to get some insight into the male side of infertility. We tend to downplay how they are affected, get upset when they aren't beside themselves over things that we find hard, and start to treat them like glorified sperm donors. Maybe not all women, but I would say most do this. I mentioned before, but this blog is not going to be my place to vent frustrations with my husband. There is no shortage of that on teh interwebs, and every time I come across a woman online or in the real world trivializing her husband's role and treating him like he is basically a 5 year old who wouldn't be able to find his way home if the leash wasn't attached it makes my skin crawl. If he is such an unreliable moron then why the hell do you want to procreate with him? Oh wait...cause it's not about him, is it. It's about you.
I interact with many girls who are about to be married (it's par for the course in my line of work) and even before I met my husband, I realized what kind of a girlfriend and wife I didn't want to be. See, society blames men for having no opinions on things like weddings, home decorating, and kids (to an extent). The truth is, I haven't met a man who didn't have an opinion on what he wants. The problem is his harpie of a girlfriend is so freaking adamant about what her special day (special room, special family, etc.) is going to be, that to avoid getting castrated even more than he already is, he will stay silent. If guys are treated as large accessories in their own wedding, is it any wonder they roll their eyes about whether to get buttercream or fondant on the cake?
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1013th Friday Blog Roundup
1 day ago
My husband was in the Army for 8 years. Other Army wives would look forward to their husbands going on TDY "to get a break", I would get insomnia while he was gone. He is my best friend, my anchor, my whole world. I did used to wonder, why did you marry him if you don't want to be around him? I think that is the popular way to treat your husband now...as a necessary evil. I'll never understand it.
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